Your defences protected your life.
They built your empire.
Now they’re burning you — and everyone you love.
You keep winning. It still feels hollow. Your heartbeat is pounding in your ears at 2 AM. People respect your title. Nobody actually knows you. Your success is spectacular. Yet — life inside your golden prison feels miserable.
The Inner Narcissist Trilogy. Three books written from inside the armor by someone who was the damage — and chose creation over destruction. Keep your edge. Build without burning everything down. Win without losing the things that matter. Raw truth, backed by science.
Read the first chapters free — Books 1 & 2Most books about narcissism get it wrong.
Stop searching for burnout hacks.
You’re dealing with a wound.
Clinical books describe the symptoms. Victim books explain the damage. Nobody explains what it’s like to be the one causing it — and more importantly, how to stop.
Traditional therapy often fails high-performers with a strong inner narcissist. Not because it’s wrong — but because it speaks a language they don’t respond to. You’re not just stressed. Your nervous system is running survival patterns established in childhood. In a 40-year-old executive’s body. In the boardroom. At the dinner table. In the bedroom.
That’s what this trilogy is. The manual nobody gave you.
You Are Not a Narcissist.
But you might be carrying one.
While your survival mechanism is running the show.
There’s a part of you that has been running the show for decades. It shows up as the rage that takes over in meetings — and explodes at home. As the perfectionism that drives your team insane. As the relentless need to achieve that never, ever feels like enough. As the charm that wins rooms and the coldness that empties them. As the success that looks spectacular from the outside and feels hollow from the inside.
This isn’t who you are. This is what you built — to survive.
The inner narcissist is not a diagnosis. It’s a defense. When you were young, something happened. A father who only gave approval for performance. A mother whose emotional needs became your responsibility. A childhood where anger was dangerous, vulnerability was weakness, and love was conditional on being exceptional. You adapted. You built armor — driven, controlled, brilliant, impenetrable.
That armor worked. It got you to the top. It built the company, closed the deals, won the arguments, and outlasted everyone who doubted you.
But armor doesn’t know when the war is over.
So the same defensive patterns that protected a child — the control, the rage, the need to dominate, the inability to stop — keep running in a 40-year-old executive’s body. In the boardroom. At the dinner table. In the bedroom. You bring your wound to work. And it follows you home.
You are trapped in the Golden Prison — surrounded by achievement, completely isolated at the top. Either you are running a Build and Burn cycle that destroys everything you’ve worked for the moment it starts to matter. Or you have embarked on the Build and Sell pattern. Once you sold everything you have built and made your prison more golden — you start again from scratch and do it again. Ultimately burning yourself and those you love.
The inner narcissist is not the enemy. His drive got you here. His intensity built everything you have. The fire inside isn’t the problem. The problem is that nobody ever taught you how to aim it for purposeful creation — not unconscious destruction.
How did your wound first take root?
Book 1: Namaste Motherf*cker — The origin. Generational trauma. Childhood armor. How the Motherf*cker got made.
Where does it destroy your professional life?
Book 2: At Work with the Inner Narcissist — The boardroom. The burnout. The Build and Burn cycle. The Build and Sell pattern. The body breaking down.
Where does it damage the people you love most?
Book 3: Narcissists in Love — The intimate relationship. The bedroom is harder than the boardroom. The executive who lost control at home. The partner who loves you and can’t reach you.
One wound. Three arenas. One path through all of them.
If you’ve read this far, something in you already knows.
That discomfort you’re feeling? That resistance? That’s recognition.
Is your body calling bullsh*t?
Check what your inner narcissist tries to ignore:
Your heartbeat is pounding in your ears. You hear it at 2 AM. You’ve Googled it. You’ve ignored it.
Chronic exhaustion that no sabbatical, supplement, or sleep tracker can fix.
Success without fulfillment. The hollow win. The relief of closing the deal — a feeling that usually lasts forty-eight hours at best.
No real peers. No candid feedback. Decision-making in a vacuum. Completely alone at the top.
The sudden workplace rage. The uncontrolled anger at home. Sending your bloodpressure to the moon and those around you into hiding.
The weight gain despite not eating more. Your stress-related cortisol levels soaring higher than a kite.
Using weekends, alcohol, or worse to numb what the week built up. Calling it work-life balance. Knowing it isn’t.
If you’ve read this far, that discomfort isn’t resistance. It’s recognition. The body already knows. The mind trying to catch up.
See if it speaks to you. Before you invest anything.
The opening chapter of both Book 1 and Book 2 — free. No upsell sequence. No daily emails. Just the work — so you can get a sense if this is for you.
Read the opening chapters of Books 1 & 2 — free
Three Books. One Journey.
Book 1 — innernarcissist.com/namaste
NAMASTE MOTHERF*CKER
You were not born a narcissist. You don’t have to die as one.
The origin story. How generational trauma and childhood experiences forge narcissistic armor — and how to finally begin dismantling it. A confession from the inside out, backed by trauma science and a 90-day recovery foundation.
What you walk away with: clarity on why you became this way — and a concrete path to stop letting it run your life.
Paperback on Amazon — $22.99
Print edition only. Bonus materials exclusive to this site.
Book 2 — innernarcissist.com/atwork
AT WORK WITH THE INNER NARCISSIST
Stop destroying. Start creating.
Your intensity built the business. Skyrocketed the career. Closed the deals. But that same fire is burning your team, your health, and everything you’ve worked for. Keep your edge while ending the Build-Burn or Build-Sell cycle — tactical, practical, written for people who think therapy is for weaklings.
What you walk away with: the ability to build without burning down everything — including yourself. Keep the drive. Lose the collateral damage.
Paperback on Amazon — $24.99
Print edition only. Bonus materials exclusive to this site.
Book 3 — innernarcissist.com/inlove
NARCISSISTS IN LOVE
How to Build Intimacy Without Destroying It.
The ultimate test. How does a recovering narcissist learn to love without controlling? Book 3 is where all the work meets the hardest arena of all — because intimacy is where narcissistic defenses are strongest.
What you walk away with: the tools to be close to someone without controlling them. To love without losing yourself — or destroying them.
Only available as part of the trilogy bundle. Opening chapter delivered now. Full ebook on publication.
The Inner Narcissist Bundle — Books 1 & 2
Read them in the order they were meant to be read. The wound first. Then the workplace. Two books, all bonus materials, one price.
$29.99 — Exclusive to this site.
Written by someone who was the Motherf*cker.
Not a psychologist’s theory. Not a victim’s complaint. A confession from inside the armor.
Backed by scientific research — because the inner narcissist is smart and doesn’t waste time on bullsh*t.
Written in language high-achievers can hear.
Addresses the why behind the drive — not just the symptoms.
Practical tools for keeping your edge without the collateral damage.
The outcome: build without burning. Win without losing what matters. Reconnect with those you love. Create something meaningful that survives.
Who is Invictus S.D.?
INVICTUS S.D. spent over three decades perfecting the art of achieving what’s professionally valued while destroying everything that truly matters. He writes anonymously from a remote location in nature. Far from the modern world. His anonymity is intended to protect still-living parents from public shame for wounds they themselves inherited from their own traumatic childhoods.
A former executive, consultant, and lobbyist. MBA. Elected Chairman of the board of a transnational organization. Handling multi-million dollar deals. Ultra-marathon competitor: Running more than 200km including the height meters of climbing Mt. Everest almost twice. His overall official professional scoreboard looked impressive. His private life told a different story.
His first burnout hit in his late 20s. Tinnitus screaming so loud he couldn’t sleep for weeks. He ignored it. By his late 30s came the ultimate wake-up call: tumor markers. Those who mattered — gone. Complete isolation at the top of a mountain he never wanted to climb.
His wake-up call came through a letter calling him exactly what he carried inside but didn’t detect himself — a narcissist. What followed — family constellations, hypnotherapy, time alone in mountain cabins, and eventually the Camino de Santiago — became the foundation for this trilogy.
What began on the Camino as a physical challenge — one more distance to conquer — became something else entirely. He came home a follower of Jesus Christ. Not a religious performer. Not a churchgoer in the traditional sense. A man who, after a lifetime of trusting only his own strength, finally surrendered to something larger than himself.
This is why the pen name carries S.D. — Servus Dei. Servant of God. Do not mistake the raw language in these pages, the profanity, the unfiltered directness, for a contradiction of that faith. It is not. God does not require polish. He requires honesty. And honesty, in the world this book addresses, sometimes sounds exactly like this.
These books are what he wishes someone had handed him thirty years ago.
The work starts with the invisible.
Making it visible.
Acknowledging the wound.
Start there.
Read the opening chapters of Books 1 and 2 before you invest in anything else. If they land — you’ll feel it in your whole body, your complete state of being. If you sense resistance or rejection — good. You’re almost there. Either answer is the right one.
Read the first chapters free — Books 1 & 2Or go straight to the books if you already know.
A share of everything produced here goes to those who never had someone show up for them. That’s where it goes →